Courage

http://positive-thoughts.typepad.com/positive-thoughts/2012/11/courage-is.html

Courage is admitting that you're afraid and facing that fear directly. It's being strong enough to ask for help and humble enough to accept it.

Courage is standing up for what you believe in without worrying about the opinions of others. It's following your own heart, living your own life, and settling for nothing less than the best for yourself.

Courage is daring to take a first step, a big leap, or a different path. It's attempting to do something that no one has done before and all others thought impossible.

Courage is keeping heart in the face of disappointment and looking at defeat not as an end but as a new beginning. It's believing that things will ultimately get better even as they get worse.

Courage is being responsible for your own actions and admitting your own mistakes without placing blame on others. It's relying not on others for your success, but on your own skills and efforts.

Courage is refusing to quit even when you're intimidated by impossibility. It's choosing a goal, sticking with it, and finding solutions to the problems.

Courage is thinking big, aiming high, and shooting far. It's taking a dream and doing anything, risking everything, and stopping at nothing to it make it a reality.

~ Caroline Kent ~

Be unrealistic - I love this

http://positive-thoughts.typepad.com/positive-thoughts/2012/11/be-unrealistic.html

Let's take a closer look at this word, "unrealistic." Was it realistic, in the early 1960s, for John F. Kennedy to proclaim that we would put a man on the moon by the end of that decade?

Fifteen years ago, was it realistic to believe that millions of people worldwide would be exchanging e-mail messages every day? Was it ever realistic to believe that a sheep could be cloned?

As you'll probably admit, all of these things were unrealistic. And yet, all of them were accomplished! Why?  Because certain people dared to "dream big" and took the steps necessary to bring their visions into reality.

Take a moment to think about it. Are there any goals that you have given up on ... or hesitate to pursue ... because you decided they were "unrealistic?"

Here are some ideas that will assist you in bringing your dreams into reality:

1.  You wouldn't have the dream unless you could implement it. The universe does not waste its efforts by giving you the desire to accomplish something ... unless you also have the potential to achieve it. Now, no one said it would be easy! Your goal may take years to attain, and there may be numerous setbacks before you can claim victory.

2.  A positive attitude is the foundation. You can achieve something extraordinary only if you have a dynamic positive attitude and a strong belief in yourself and your abilities.

3.  Don't expect others to feel and see your vision. You may be able to picture your outcome in vivid detail. This is your personal vision. But don't be discouraged when you find that others (even those close to you) can't "tune into" that dream. All that counts is that you see it ... and feel it.

4.  Enthusiasm is crucial. Bold objectives are achieved by those who are "on fire" about accomplishing them. So, are you excited about your goal? When you are speaking about that topic to others, can they sense your passion?

If you are lukewarm about achieving your goal or are just in it for the money, you probably won't succeed. Also, if you are trying to achieve a goal that someone else has set for you -- but your heart isn't in -- you will face disappointment.

5.  Commitment gets the job done. Sure, many people are excited at the outset. But, they quickly lose interest when obstacles appear in their path. And, with any "unrealistic" goal, you can bet that the trip won't be all fun and games.

You're going to face some tough times. Those who are committed have decided that they are in it for the long haul -- however long that haul may take. They usually have a timetable for realizing their dream, but quitting is simply not an option. That's the mindset that achieves the "impossible."

6.  Your everyday progress will look quite ordinary. When you look back at the accomplishment of most "unrealistic" goals, you're going to find that they were achieved by harnessing the power of cumulative efforts.

Thus, if we view a snapshot of each day along the way, no single day's accomplishments would look extraordinary or monumental. However, by making these efforts day after day, the individual created a momentum that propelled him or her to the desired destination. Remember, you don't climb a mountain with one giant leap.

7.  There are no guarantees.  By the way, is there a chance that you could embark on a challenging goal ... and not reach it? Absolutely. But, when you set an ambitious objective and give it your all, you are a winner and can hold your head high regardless of the end result.

So, do you think that you could double or triple your income -- or come up with an idea that could be worth thousands, or even millions, of dollars to your company? Whatever your big dream might be, don't worry that it is "unrealistic."

My Bangkok talk

This is a video of the  talk I gave in Bangkok. Its 30 minutes long, so grab a coffee or something stronger before you sit down to watch! 

Bangkok video

Last month in Bangkok I told my story to the Diageo Asia Pacific leadership conference. It went really well. At the start of the speech, I showed a video (which Diageo's creative agency helped put together). Here it is.

One year on - photos and videos

Here are the photos and videos I said I'd publish in my post earlier today.


A few weeks ago, I went back to the scene of my accident for the first time. I drive past this place pretty much every day, but this was the first time I'd got out to take a closer look. I don't know for certain but am pretty sure that this is the hole that my tyre went down. My head  landed on the kerb. 

The kids have started doing the Hash House Horrors runs on Sunday afternoons. Recently, I joined them to walk one of routes - and found myself on the marathon course!!!

Here are a few videos from recent training sessions with Swee Kheng. You can see the issues I still have, mainly with my right leg/ foot, and with tone when I start to move faster. But you can also see the progress, I hope.

Here's one from last week - when I seemed to find my running legs again - first time for a little while!! I was very happy with this.

One year on

Today is the first anniversary of my accident  - the day that changed my life and the lives of my family forever. As you can imagine, there's a lot going through my head and today is a day of very high emotion. There's a lot I would like to say and do, but above all I want to celebrate and say thank you.

On 29th June 2011, a cycling accident left me with a spinal cord injury, unable to move and with almost no sensation, from the shoulders down. In the days that followed, Ali and I started to learn about the potentially devastating, traumatic impact of this injury -  possible permanent paralysis, incontinence, breathing complications, infections, a lifetime of dependence on care, and so on. Fortunately, I showed signs of some functional recovery fairly quickly, which was encouraging. But the medics made it clear that it was impossible to predict how much I would recover and to what extent I would be left disabled. A few weeks after my accident I was told that, given the level and nature of my accident, at the date of injury I had a less than 10% chance of ever walking again.

Today, my biggest physical challenge is muscle tone, spasticity and tightness. That's caused by the damage to my neurological system. The tone and tightness is compounded by physical, emotional and other stresses. Over the last couple of months, I've ramped up at work and pressed on with my physical rehab whilst trying to manage through the huge uncertainties and emotional issues the family still faces. I've taken medication since the accident, but the way the drugs work is by suppressing the nervous system, which seems to me (and others) to work against the healing process, so I recently tried to reduce the dosage. The net result has been an increase in tightness these last few weeks. But I know that it will improve eventually. And I know that when it does I will be in a really good position to make even more progress at an even faster rate. 

As things stand, one year later, I can walk (and do so without walking aids). I'm learning to gallop, skip, hop and run. I can ride a bike and swim. I can play games with my kids, kick a football, hit, throw and catch a ball. I drive, without any modification. I can type and write. I'm back at work and beating the targets I set for my first 3 months back. I'm fully functional and completely independent. My motor control, sensation, muscle strength and function all continue to improve. 

I don't know why it is that I've been able to recover this far. I think there are many reasons and I think they include the specific extent of the damage to my spinal cord; the medical care and drugs I received in the ICU; the success of my surgery; the great nursing care that followed; my extensive and intensive rehab program (physio, OT, cranio sacral therapy, meridian resistive stretching, massage, acupuncture, Qi Gong, counseling, coaching etc); my ability to finance all of that, including my six weeks at Project Walk; the energy I've drawn from the thoughts, prayers, encouragement and support of my family, friends and colleagues; the rock solid support from my employer; the inspiration I've drawn from the amazing people I've met and stories I've heard along the way; the make up of my body, spirit and mind - my level of fitness and health before the accident and the way I found myself able to choose hope over fear, believe in my recovery and keep focussed and determined to stay the course. 

I'm learning and understanding more as each day of this journey goes by, but I expect I'll never really know what it is that's got me here. But I do know that things could have been so much worse for me. I know that many other SCI victims face far bigger challenges than I do. I know that many of them would love to be able to do what I can do now, and I've met many who are working extremely hard to get there. I know that I am fortunate. I'm very grateful for the fact that I am where I am today, and that I have the potential to go even further tomorrow.

I also know, for sure, that I could not have done this without all of you. My medics, nurses, therapists, trainers, family, friends and colleagues. You have energised, motivated and inspired me. I will always be grateful. 

My injury has caused a huge amount of trauma, grief and upheaval for Ali, Max and Amy. Its very painful still for Ali, who saw our dreams, plans and securities torn to pieces. Whilst the kids have found new ways of being with me, I know they'd love to have me able to do the things I used to do. They are the victims of this too. But they brought me through the worst and have stuck by me. I'll find a way of marking today with them, saying thank you and letting them know how much I love them.

Today, wherever you are, please have a little celebration!!

A truly inspiring, beautiful video. Thanks to Rajan for sharing it.

http://www.andrewcohen.com/2012/05/16/video-never-give-up/

17 May - my PW testimonial video

Here's a link to the video of my last day interview at PW, back in March

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3r4ltUlb4E&feature=plcp

29 April - first bike ride!

I've been riding my stationary bike for several weeks now, but today, I rode a bike outside for the first time. Here's a clip of the first moment - a practice run near the bike  hire shop, and then me off with Max & Amy through East Coast Park. A wonderful afternoon - and one more family activity regained. It feels fantastic, for all of us I think! 

24 April - two months on

It's two months since I came home from Carlsbad  - already!! So, as some of you have told me, I'm overdue an update!


I started back at work a couple of weeks ago. I'm easing back in slowly, working just two half days in the first two weeks, and aiming to increase to three full days by week 5. When I get to full days, I will start late morning to allow time for my therapy or training. As I've said many times before, the support from Diageo has been phenomenal. I had a really warm welcome back and now there are many people wanting to help ensure that my transition is successful, and that I return to full capacity over time. My boss has told me to structure work around my rehab, not the other way around, which is a fantastic way to help me keep on with my physical recovery, whilst at the same time re-building things on the work front. I'm very fortunate! Its early days, but so far so good - I've been able to get done what I planned to do, in the way I wanted to do it.  I've been tired at the end of each day, but that's to be expected whilst I re-adjust. This is a really big step for me, but the timing feels right and I know I can make a success of this.


I'm driving again!! One of the local hospitals runs a driving rehabilitation assessment. There is no legal requirement to do the test (as far as I know), but it was clearly the right thing for me to do, for everyone's sake. The assessment was pretty straightforward. First, I met with an OT (if you're reading this, hi Florence), to talk through my rehab and my physical and mental condition; and to perform some tests on basic functionality. A week later I had an on road test with a driving instructor. That went really well - except that I completely stuffed up an attempt at reverse parking!! The instructor didn't seem to mind, and I passed and got a certificate that I'm fit to drive. I'm loving the liberation and I've thought to myself that behind the wheel of a car I feel just like everyone else. I do tend to think a lot about the placement of my right foot on the pedals, but last week I drove through a massive storm (big, even for Singapore, which is saying something) - and all of a sudden I found that if my mind is distracted my legs and feet still work perfectly well!! Interesting! More of that later. I thought that I might have some issues with the tightness in my hands, but they are fine - and in fact I think my left hand benefits from having to clench and unclench as I move it from the steering wheel to the gear stick. So, another big box ticked!


In my last post I said that after returning to Singapore I needed to think about which therapists to work with and how to structure my training. I wanted as far as possible to replicate what I had in Carlsbad - a trainer (not necessarily a physio) who might be a kinesiologist or strength and conditioning coach, who could help me with gait training, strength and stability and who understands something about the neurological challenges. It was important for me to find someone with the right attitude - who can share my belief in my ability to beat the odds and make a full recovery, and who can keep me motivated and making good progress. And I needed access to a good facility with the right equipment. I expected to have to piece together a team of several people in different places. Actually, I think I've found it in one person in one place. I've been working with Dr Tan Swee Kheng, whose business is called Fifth Ray Integrated Activities. Swee Kheng ticks pretty much all the boxes. She's not worked with an SCI client before, but I didn't expect to find that outside of the main hospitals. She has a really cool facility in a warehouse down by the river. She does a lot of work with kids, but also gait, running and conditioning work with adults. Five weeks in, I seem to be making really good progress, especially within the last week when a lot of the gait training and strength work really seems to be bedding in, to the point that my movement has become more automatic and fluid and less effortful. Swee Kheng took a few videos of today's session, which I will post soon. 


Its a strange thing - I can now count at least 5 times during this rehab when exactly the right person has popped up at exactly the right time to help me on my journey. A couple of people have said that its about putting it out there and allowing the universe to arrange it. I'm beginning to believe it!!!


One of those people was Andrew Liaw. Andrew popped up as a cranio sacral therapist last October. He's also a physio and over time we started work at the gym and the track. Andrew had a quite uncanny knack of reading exactly what was happening in my body and his exercise program was a really good pre-cursor to the stuff I did at Project Walk. He's had total faith in my ability to recover, and has been hugely motivational. I'm now moving off on a different path (for a while, at least) but want to say a really big thank you to Andrew. He keeps a fairly low profile, but if anyone in Singapore wants his number, give me a shout. 


I'm still working very hard on the rehab - twice a week with Swee Kheng, twice a week at the gym near the office, once a week on a long walk, Saturday mornings in the pool, and every day a "get me moving routine" first thing in the morning and stretches at night. I've hooked my bike on to a stationary bike stand, and do a half hour ride on that once or twice a week. I also have one OT session a week, and try to fit in a weekly massage. A lot! 


In the first few weeks back from Carlsbad I struggled with increased tone, especially extensor tone in my right side, which causes my leg to straighten and forces my foot into plantar flexion. That seemed to worsen for a few weeks. Having spoken to a consultant and physio at the hospital, and to Swee Kheng, I decided that I needed to adjust my exercise regime, reducing the intensity in some areas for a while to allow me focus on form and quality of movement. That has meant that for the last few weeks I have pulled back from jogging, reduced the amount of jumping and shifted away from a focus on speed. Other than that, the home program that David, Genny and Steve built for me is still the core of my gym routine. The results seem good. Over the last few days there has been a noticeable improvement in my gait. I've felt much more fluid and smooth pretty much every time I have moved. Today I noticed that I am putting less mental and physical effort into walking. And that is making the whole thing more efficient - and faster! Other people are noticing too - especially Ali!


One strategy to address the tone is to try to divert my mind from it. That's really hard to do, because the tone can dominate my movement and I've developed a habit of thinking hard about every step. But over the last week or so I have had a bit of a breakthrough and found a technique that seems to help. I'm learning that if I can distract my mind to something else (eg to think about putting force through my left leg), my right leg is able to move automatically (almost) and more smoothly.  


The last few weeks have been tough going sometimes. I've felt low some days and sometimes felt that my progress had slowed, or even slipped backwards. That's the first time I've experienced that, other than for the odd day or so - and I know how fortunate I am to be able to say that. But I never expected my progress to be straight line the whole time, and in some ways its good to have been through this - I've learned how to come out of it. And I expect I'll need to use that knowledge again some time.


Ali is battling hard with her own recovery. A few weeks ago she went on an intensive therapy course in Australia. The course is known for being pretty tough, and Ali was anxious about going, but she did so, very bravely. She had a good experience, made some breakthroughs and came home in a much better place than before she left, and with some tools and techniques that will help her as she fights on. Its still really hard going for her, but she keeps on fighting.


The kids are doing fine. Max has got me playing football on the drive (my right leg moves much slower than my left, but the fear of falling over when I kick the ball has gone away!) and Amy has me playing tennis. Amy is storming ahead with her reading (not far off chapter books!) and Max is in a school play this week!


That's it for now. I'll post some videos soon.